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Can you have a healthy divorce?

On Behalf of | Aug 3, 2022 | Divorce

When your family experiences abrupt or unexpected changes, it can be challenging for everyone involved to learn how to cope. This might be particularly true if you’ve decided you’d rather go your separate ways than stay in an unhappy marriage.

If divorce is on the horizon, you might be worried about how the implications of your decision will affect your children, as well as your own mental and emotional health. However, there are steps you can take to make matters less difficult.

Approach legal proceedings in a business-like manner

You’re likely to experience high stress levels if you think of your divorce proceedings as a competition between you and your ex. Meanwhile, remember the decisions you make now will be vital to your future may help keep your focus on protecting your interests.

Create a list of goals to help you present your needs and negotiate fair terms in a calm and well-informed manner while trying to avoid thinking of your divorce as a win or lose situation. State your case clearly and respectfully yet be prepared to address any issue that threatens to undermine your parental rights or fails to consider your children’s best interests.

Create a detailed child custody agreement

Detailed parenting time arrangements can help avoid confusion – and contention – as you and your co-parent interact. You may want to include issues like:

  • Who has permission to pick up your kids from school (for instance, can it be a new romantic partner of your ex)?
  • Which parent will attend which special school or sporting events?
  • Where will your children spend their birthdays and other holidays?

The more detailed your custody agreement is, the less room there is for hurtful, tiring disagreements.

Allow yourself to process your feelings

Allow your emotions to surface and unfold naturally. You might feel sad one day, angry the next, while experiencing moments of joy in between – all of which are understandable as your marriage comes to an end.

Ask for additional support if a particular issue causes emotional, financial or legal distress. Utilizing available resources can help you manage the changes in your life and reinforce the fact that you’re not alone.